all apologies

about the ruiner post, im sorry to those who read that. i removed the personal remarks
they were un-nesecarry and out of context. they also have no place on here, which i didn't realize was so public. i hope i can mend the bridges that post set aflame. if those who were hurt want to talk to me sooner, please contact me in game.

<3 you all, sorry for hurting any of my readers. we all make mistakes, i'll just make sure to be more careful when posting.

ruiner

going more in depth, i really need a break, from everyone. if two people spend too much time together, they begin to drift apart. i think thats whats happening to me.

looking back and forth, i realize that i play to meet goals, thats all everything is to me. a goal to be the best (job/sub-job) i can be. drg is close, sam is a ways off, blu and rng are ways off, but after that, theres nothing left.
merits done, gear done, whats left besides exploring places ive already been?
i desperately want to be done with everything. if i could i'd be done today. nothing would be there to bind me.

instead im stuck in a rat race with 500,000 other people doing stuff we dont want for other people until by pure chance its our turn. looking at real life, its the same. e get a job, we make money, spend it on living expenses, waste rsources. for what? so we can go home and entertain ourselves... i'm thinking, and getting depressed because nothings out there in the long run, and nothings in here either.

odd week

here is the mod i have for rdm gear

nothin doing much. yesterday i finally cashed in my merits (hello 5/5 sTP) today i recieved my campaign rank up (level 6) and bought a shiny sentinels shield. also finaly got a staff strap for rdm. no word from CoP/sky ls.. oh well, if its meant to be, it'll come in time i guess. i should probly shout tomorrow. hopefully i get swift belt.

my sexy new shield

sloow day in the neighborhood

short day today, had to go shopping w/ mom so i got home just in time to do the last assault and some campaign. Xerxes wanted to kiill n nm but we needed like 20 people to kill it so no go. instead we camped the orc king again hoping for a ToD. got some skillups (249 enfeebling 27 from cap) but otherwise not much going on. moms kinda cranky so hittin the sac early, sky tomorrow.. we'll see how that goes..

common reactor

for those of you wondering what i'm talking about when i DC, heres a diagram

what my modem should look like

Power
o
Receive
o
Send
o
Online
o
Activity
o
Stand-by
X

when i DC its this

Power
o
Receive
o __________x o x o x o x o x o
Send
x o x o x o x o x o x x x x x x x x x o x o x o
Online
x
Activity
o
Stand-by
X

just a visual reference.

also if you havent heard the portal song before, its addictive, and the creator of VGcats made a flash version :D

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/extras/stillalive.php

(lyrics)
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are
still alive.


I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a pyre.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data
make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm glad I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are
still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think i prefer to stay inside.
maybe you'll find someone else
to help you.
maybe Black Mesa...
THAT WAS A JOKE, HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Anyway this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist
look at me still talking when theres science to do
when i look out there
it makes me glad I'm not you
i've experiments to run
there is research to be done
on the people who are
still alive.


and believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
i feel fantastic and I'm still alive
while your dying ill be still alive
and when your dead i will be still alive
still alive
still alive

here is the flash version of the game as well

http://portal.wecreatestuff.com/